How to make people want to reply to you
on January 23, 2022 / by

You’ve joined a dating service that appears to be full of interesting folks. You’ve taken your time filling out the personality test, creating a vibrant and intriguing dating profile, and posing for some flattering profile images to give yourself that additional push. Only one thing stands in your way of obtaining your next first date: a fantastic online dating message.

All the ways you can make up a message that make people interested in

smiling man with a phone

Fortunately, writing a winning first message and keeping the online dating discussion going isn’t difficult. It isn’t even tough to ask someone out over the internet. All you need is a little self-assurance, some common sense, and some case studies to learn from. The other two elements will very certainly follow after you have the latter. That’s why we’ve produced these sample online dating messages that have gotten responses.

Saying hello — do it properly

A good online greeting does not have to be difficult. It may even be as simple as sending your match a smile to let them know you’re interested.

Of course, if you truly want to stand out, you should compose a more unique message — something that sets you apart from everyone else who merely says “hello” and walks away. What’s the greatest approach to stand out from the crowd? Make your message specific to the recipient.

Find something in common to start a conversation

Want to know a quick and easy approach to creating an online dating message that will get you a response? Find a point of agreement between you and the receiver. It’s easy to find anything in common on a dating site – after all, if you see a new profile, it’s probable that they were one of your matchmaker recommendations. So, why don’t you bring it up?

First message example:

Hi Fiona.

I just noticed that the dating site has matched us, and I have to tell, the algorithm has truly pleased me! I wasn’t sure about this online dating thing, but after reading your profile, I can see that you and I share similar viewpoints on a number of issues. What are your thoughts? Do you like it while you’re on a dating site?

Thanks, Josh

Highlight some information from their accounts

Finding similar ground is fantastic, but finding anything unique in their profile that you find fascinating is much better. That way, you won’t appear to have copied and pasted your remark! Again, on a dating site, this is a simple task: when you click on someone’s profile, you’ll find references of various interests and hobbies. Simply choose one that you have (or would like to have!) in common.

The message may look like this:

Hello Josh.

I see that you have a yacht on your profile. I feel the same way! Nothing beats a peaceful summer afternoon spent on the sea. Are there any places in particular that you enjoy visiting? Lake Murray is one of my favorite places in the world.

Thanks, Fiona

Ask what her interests are

Those with keen eyes would have seen a common thread running through these messages: they all raise questions. Yes, your first online message is an opportunity to show off your greatest qualities, but the ideal method to do so is to flatter the recipient by inquiring about their thoughts and perspectives on life. After all, the majority of individuals secretly like discussing themselves! You may even combine all three strategies – discover common ground, personalize it, and turn it into a question – for the greatest results. That’s it, you’ve got yourself a terrific first message.

The example:

Hi Fiona.

We were matched by the site, and I must say, your profile has piqued my interest!

I notice we both enjoy Netflix documentaries, which is fantastic because I’ve been looking for something new to watch. Do you have any suggestions for me? What’s your favorite movie of all time/the finest one you’ve watched recently?

Thanks, Josh

How to keep your chat mate engaged

2 laughing women

Stop once you’ve sent your first greeting. The discussion ball has now been passed to them, and you should wait for them to respond before sending another message. Of course, once they do, it’s game on! To keep the online dating discussion flowing, use these suggestions.

Get deeped into a common topic

Conversation example:

Hi Josh.

Netflix documentaries are my favorite! My favorites are always the ones in which they attempt to solve a crime or a mystery. Although the finest film I’ve recently watched was Somm, a short documentary about people attempting to pass the coveted Sommelier exam. You wouldn’t think something so mundane could be so intriguing! Do you know what it is?

Best, Fiona

Fiona, I haven’t watched it yet, but I believe you have persuaded me to do so!

My sister will be relieved that someone has succeeded; she lives near Napa and is often advising me to keep an eye on things related to wine.

But enough about my loved ones. What are your thoughts? Is there a link to Napa? Or have you always lived in this section of the state?


Don’t forget about humor — jokes really work

It’s difficult to be hilarious on the spot, especially when you’re conversing via an internet chat and can’t see the other person’s reaction. It’s worth a chance, though: a well-timed or self-deprecating joke may help ease the discomfort of online conversing and open the way for some light flirting. Forced humor, on the other hand, has the sparkle of a flat Coke, so if you’re not feeling very clever, go for cheerful. What counts most is the sense of humor.

Conversation example:

Josh, It’s hard for me to believe your sister lives there. You must tell me more about this beautiful section of the state. I’ve only ever lived south of Orange County, so I’m in desperate need of some San Diego sun. Am I a stereotypical Californian?


Best: Be a little flirty – but keep it PG13

Once you’ve established that you’re getting along, you might want to consider flirting online. However, because of the nature of internet conversation, factors like tone and emphasis may be readily misinterpreted, and what you meant to be lighthearted can come off as sleazy. As a result, until you get to know someone better, it’s usually best to stick to comments about their personality and avoid commenting about their physical appearance.

For example:

All of life’s finest clichés are Californian clichés, Fiona! The Beach Boys, Napa Valley wines, and, of course, the sun. You appear to fall into that group, since, like them, you appear to be able to radiate joy wherever you go. It’s an accomplishment to be proud of!


How to Ask Someone Out Online

Flirty back-and-forths are a terrific approach to establish rapport and craft the type of online dating messages that attract responses. However, if you want more than simply an online connection, you’ll have to follow the online/offline route at some point. It’s preferable to do this as soon as possible — in fact, according to a University of Florida research, you should aim for a first date no later than 17-23 days following your initial communication. ¹ If you go any longer, you risk idealizing the vision you’ve created to the point that a real-life encounter falls short. But how do you ask someone out over the internet? There’s just one way to go forward: do it!

Yes, just asking someone you’ve met online for a date is the easiest way to go about it. Try not to be scared; remember that the person you’re asking is online to meet someone, just like you. Start by offering a simple meeting to ensure they meet you.

It may look like this:

Josh, thank you so much for your kind words. You’ve truly brightened my day! I can’t get in touch with the Beach Boys, and I can’t promise sunlight, but I can buy you a glass of Napa Valley wine as a thank you. What do you think? I’m familiar with a fantastic tiny wine bar in the heart of the city.

Yours, Fiona

– Fiona You got there first. I’d like to meet you face to face. The wine is only an added bonus! Is Saturday a viable option?

Yours, Josh

It’s simpler than you think to write online dating messages that generate responses. All you have to do is discover some common ground, personalize your message, and ask follow-up questions to keep the online dating discussion going. So, what do you have to lose? Sign up for online dating right now and start crafting your first message. It won’t be long until you’re online asking someone out.

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